SCF Conference in Ohio, USA - July, 2006 Testimonies

The Way of Purity - Tony Armour
Door of Hope - Keith Bell
United Front - Meril Bell
The Lord's Table & The Way of Purity - Jason Chamberlain
The Way of Purity - Dave Lanning
New Wine - Bryan Reif
Higher Stakes - Darlene Revis
Door of Hope - Loren Reynolds
The Lord's Table - Susan Rosa

Tony Armour's Testimony

I would like to share how Jesus Christ radically changed my life.

I was born and raised in Philadelphia with a normal upbringing. As I got older, I fell to peer pressure and tried several different kinds of drugs and alcohol. I was sent to military school and my using really progressed. In January, 1979, I vowed in blood I would get high every day and went to any length to make it happen. Life appeared to be one big party, as my life with a wife and child slipped away and I found myself strung out and homeless at a subway stop. My mother found me and brought me down to Florida in 1989. I had a tough time trying to stay clean and sober.

After getting caught in two drug stings, I went to three treatment centers in the year of 1991. I found a 12-step program to get sober and I learned, since my life was unmanageable, I needed a new manager with a management team. My management team consisted of a network of supports who had a "God as we understood Him." I sponsored and helped a lot of people and "it worked" to keep me sober; but the sexual immorality never stopped. It progressed to seeking out prostitutes and massage parlors. I married one of the girls, and we opened a few houses of prostitution. I was a modern-day pimp, enslaved to pornography and the ways of the world.

One day a Christian asked me to think about one question. "What if what they are saying in the BIBLE is true?" Things like "the wages of sin is death" and "no one comes to the Father except through JESUS." Within a week or two, my whole world came crashing down on me. I was beaten, robbed, put in jail and separated from my home and family again. Soon the marriage died and I loss my job and the only thing left were a few men who told me about JESUS CHRIST and how much he loved me. It was now time to surrender my will and life over to Jesus Christ, and I got saved in April, 2002. I continued with the process and was baptized September 19, 2002. I went from a disgrace to grace. I committed to a daily walk of "spiritual works" in order to keep my connection with God, but my life did not reflect pure freedom. I still was living a secret life of sin on Internet porn. At the time, I was known as "Mr. AA" because whenever I would share I would quote the steps and the Big Book by page. I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to stop the pornography or immorality.

In April, 2005, I was told about the ministry named Setting Captives Free. Out of desperation, I signed on to The Way of Purity Course. I read the article "Free Indeed vs. Working the Program" and God opened the eyes of my heart. I had to agree that I was enslaved to meetings and the 12 steps. Then I heard the truth in John 8:36, So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. At the time, I was engaged to be married and we were living together in sin. I felt so convicted that, by the end of the first week, Kim moved out and God’s mercy and grace has fallen upon our lives. We became one in marriage on Aug. 6, 2005. Today, my friend and I have started a "Free Indeed" meeting which we bring to a men’s Christian halfway house.

Now I have victory and a new life, by the blood of Jesus Christ and what He did for us on the Cross. I was once an enemy of God, and now He calls me friend. I now can rest in Christ alone and believe John 8:31-32, So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

May this be an example of the glory of God, and the church said: Amen!
Respectfully Submitted
Tony "The Tiger" Armour

Editor’s note: The article "Free Indeed vs. Working the Program" may be found here - http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/free_indeed_vs.php

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Keith Bell's Testimony

My testimony can be summed up in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Let me start by reading verses 9-10. Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

When I was 11 or 12 years old, I was molested by an older boy. This one night started the bondage of self-gratification, pornography and homosexuality. I had several sexual encounters as I went through Jr. and Sr. high school, but the fear of being found out kept me from seeking other encounters during my college and later years.

In 1974, I accepted Christ as my Savior, but I kept a tight grip on to my sin and told no one. In 1975, I married and I hoped that the self-gratification and the homosexual desires would disappear. They did not.

Matters grew worse once the Internet came into our house. I would surf for porn and gratify myself anytime I was left alone. In Aug., 2004, I found myself not having any control in viewing porn. The garbage that I was feeding my mind could also be brought to mind at any time, including during church. The thought of having a relationship with another man was beginning to form, and this scared me.

I needed help, so I did a search and found Setting Captives Free. I enrolled and did the 1st lesson. I never expected it, but a real person wrote back, telling me that he, too, had struggled for years and now he was walking in freedom. For the first time in over 40 years, I had hope in being set free from the bondage of homosexuality.

In my daily Bible study, I came upon James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. With God’s leading and encouragement from my mentor, I confessed to my wife. Meril and I had been married for 29 years, and she had no idea of my struggles.

I was terrified of what Meril’s response would be. But that night, God’s love and grace showed through her. I know, what I was seeing on the outside was not what was going on inside, but she loved me like Jesus would have that night, by holding me and crying with me. A week later, I made the same confession to my pastor who again showed me God’s love. He became my accountability partner.

After finishing Door of Hope, I asked my pastor if he would baptize me, and he did. Which brings us to verse 11of 1 Corinthians chapter 6, And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. God brought people out of bondage back in the early church and He is still doing that very same thing today.

There is a song by Casting Crowns, and the 2nd verse lyrics are: Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love and watch me rise again Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea Would call out through the rain And calm the storm in me.

Through the biblical teachings of Door of Hope, I was taught the truth of who I am; a child of God. I learned that the emptiness inside me could never be filled by homosexuality, but only by the Living Water that God offers. I learned to bring my sins out into the light by confessing them to my wife, to my pastor, and to others. I’ve learned to gear up in God’s armor daily. But, most of all, I’ve learned to be broken and to allow God’s grace to heal.

God broke the bondage of the habitual sin in my life, and he made a good marriage into a fantastic marriage. Meril gave me a ring to remind me of what God has done in my life and in our marriage. We have a great and awesome God, who is in control of my life. And Monday July 17, I will be celebrating 23 months of freedom, only by God’s grace.

Keith Bell

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Meril Bell's Testimony

Song of Solomon 2:16 My beloved is mine, and I am his.

I never would have guessed the secret sin Keith had. I still believe we had a good marriage for 29 years. God had given us so many answers to prayer.

I gave my life to Christ at a church camp in northern Minnesota when I was 9. Over the years until our marriage, I wavered in my walk with Christ. However, after marriage, we found godly churches which encouraged me to grow. That was, until we encountered the first hurdle in our marriage, I was told alone that we could not have children. I came out fuming at the Lord. I was giving Him all the reasons why we should be able to have children. I was not willing to accept God’s will for my life. As I was driving home, a billboard grabbed my attention. It said, "Jesus Cares!" I started to yell "No!" but immediately I knew, yes, Jesus cares. I released my life totally to Him that moment, for what He had planned for us. Several years later, the Lord chose a son for us to adopt. I can tell you amazing answers to prayer of how God showed us that this son was chosen by God for us. Yes, Jesus cares.

Then, years later, I was struck with cancer, twice. The second time I had a bone marrow transplant. There was one particularly scary moment; we called on the Lord, and for others to pray, and we experienced Phi 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding. I knew if I died I went to heaven; if I lived, I would enjoy more years with my family. One of my pleas with God was, "You know Keith and I have such a good marriage, I’d like to enjoy it longer." During my long recuperation, Keith lovingly cared for me. I was so thankful the Lord had blessed me with such a loving husband.

So, after 29 years of love, God helping us through extreme difficulties, asking God to direct my life, when Keith confessed, God provided the Holy Spirit to comfort and help me, as God had so many times already. Zec 4:6 I am the LORD All-Powerful. So don't depend on your own power or strength, but on my Spirit.

Yes, I was shocked; I had no clue, but I wasn’t repulsed, angry or bitter.

However, I wasn’t sure how to be what Keith needed in a wife. He told me about A United Front at Setting Captives Free. I drank in every lesson, looking for what I needed to change. 1Cor 13:5 Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. That verse really helped me realize that I couldn’t let my thoughts dwell on what Keith had done. That was me sinning. When those thoughts popped in, I learned to throw them behind me, and I saw Christ catch them and get rid of them. I learned, and continue to work on being the wife God called me to be. What I realized is that when I seek to be a biblical wife, I am pleasing God and my husband. The Lord has been working on both of us to create a fantastic marriage. The Lord also convicted me of how I was sinning in my eating habits. Yes, I called on the Lord during difficult times, but I also would overeat. I then took The Lord’s Table course, and confessed my sin. I now look at food in a very different way. Jer, 15:16 Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts. Yes, Jesus cares.

After surviving the bone marrow transplant, I would tell people that God had given me bonus years. Now, Keith and I have been set free and given bonus years, and we get to enjoy them together. Joel 2:25 I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten. Yes indeed, Jesus cares.

Meril Bell

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Jason Chamberlain's Testimony

I was always the fat kid who couldn't run. I lived a pretty sedentary lifestyle, and preferred playing video games to playing sports outside. My mom used food to show me love, and I would also eat out of boredom. As a result, I was out of shape and very self-conscious.

Then, when I was about 12, I found my dad's stash of pornography. In college, I discovered self-gratification, and Satan had his hooks set. I now had to deal with all-you-can-eat at the dining commons and regular sessions of pornography and self-gratification.

When I graduated from college, I was on my own. I had some money in my pocket, and no oversight as to how I lived. I would routinely down a pint of ice cream in one sitting and gorge myself on chicken wings. I practically lived for 10:00 PM on Friday night, so I could buy some new pay-per-view porn. I had a sense that there was something wrong with how I lived, but I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Two years later, I met the woman who would become my wife. Praise God, as our relationship became more serious, she told me she was not going to be one of those women who took the kids to church by herself. She was important to me, so I went to church and began hearing the gospel. When Amanda and I married and moved to California, God led us to a great church. I ran out of excuses, and began to take Jesus at His Word. I suddenly had more conviction about my sin. I began to regularly read the Word and attend church and Sunday school to learn what I could about God. Unfortunately, this knowledge got into my head, but didn't make the trip to my heart.

I fought with my sin in my own strength for about four years. Then I visited a website where I saw a message on the board recommending Setting Captives Free, for those who were serious about fighting sexual sin. I filed it away for a few months, but eventually signed up.

I may have professed Christ for years, but it wasn't until I took the Way of Purity course that Jesus became Lord of my life. There I learned how to drink of His Living Water and of the importance of accountability. I radically changed my TV and movie-viewing habits. Confessing to my wife was one of the most difficult things I ever did, but her graciousness and love really amazed me and her support helps me tremendously, even to this day. When she saw how Christ transformed my heart through the Way of Purity course, she began The Lord's Table course to deal with her sin of overeating. We had tried to get pregnant for almost a year, but it wasn't until we both dealt with our sin that it finally happened. I don't think it was a coincidence; we call our daughter our purity baby.

We moved to North Carolina in the middle of the pregnancy and I began to take The Lord's Table, too. In my pride I had thought I didn't need it because I was mentoring in the Way of Purity, and thought I knew everything I needed to do. How wrong I was! Yes, the concepts in the courses are similar, but the application is different. Unlike sex, we need food to survive, so it's not something we can simply amputate. But I did learn disciplined eating, and exercise became a regular part of my days.

I lost 25 pounds when I took The Lord's Table course. This is not as much as some have lost, but it happened while my wife was pregnant. As I look back, I can't believe the mercy God extended to a sinner like me. I was lost in my depravity with gluttony, laziness, pornography, and self-gratification. Since turning away from my sin, I have become increasingly passionate about Jesus. The more time I spend with Him, the more I want of Him. He really is the water that satisfies. I learned that personal holiness is something we all can pursue and that God gives us the grace to keep growing. If He can transform someone like me, He can do it with anyone. I still have times when I eat a little too much at a meal and my eyes aren't always focused on the cross. I will fight these things until I go home to the Lord. But my heart's desire is to live in radical holiness for His name's sake. This is only because of His work in me. To God be all the glory!

Jason Chamberlain

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Dave Lanning's Testimony

Where to begin - at the beginning...

Christ came into my life and met me in a real way in December of 2004. Up until that moment, I had learned about Christ and was taught in a Catholic tradition, but it wasn't until the friction and eventual collapse in my marriage that I started to really listen to Christ, reading his word and obeying Him.

Volume 1:

I was going my own way and living my life as I best saw fit. I tell people this a lot but I had the perfect tri-fecta of Sin: Pride, Idolatry, and Lust. I knew it was wrong, but I did not want to change it.

Pride: I was prideful in my approach to life, thinking I could take care of all my business, and in reality, the more I thought I could, the less I was able to do it. I felt that I was master of my own destiny. I became controlling, hard-hearted, and put demands upon myself that I couldn't even live up to. Looking at King Nebuchadnezzar really made me change my thoughts on this one. God had blessed him. Maybe you even recognize how much you have been blessed, but become arrogant, thinking you have done it all on your own. It is a terrible mistake that I pray no one falls into, but often does. Be careful to keep in mind always the source of your blessings.

Idolatry: The Heildburg Catechism says this about Idolatry:

It is to imagine or possess something in which to put one's trust in place of or beside the one true God who has revealed himself in his Word.

There are so many things that you can put on your altar instead of Christ. Things that, in themselves, are good. Take marriage for example, it was probably the biggest one for me. Not only being married, but wanting to be married to a "model," someone physically perfect and desiring more of a doll, than real a person. A lot of this was because I had been deep in the throngs of pornography. Captured by its snare for 15 years, I started having a double standard in my life. When you bring that into your life, it really kills any true and real beauty.

On the outside, I was Mr. Joe Smooth, but on the inside I was a wreck. I could not lasso my thoughts. My involvement in this reached a level I am too ashamed to even bring up to anyone, God knows us though, through and through.

Lust: Lust doesn't have to be just physical. It can entangle you on every level. Emotionally, mentally, and physically but, when it starts creeping into the spirit, into the soul, then it is all you crave. It made me want to be God, not be like him. I relate myself very well to King Nebuchadnezzar who became, for a short time, a wild animal. But God was faithful to restore him, and me. I lusted after my career. I lusted after my own possessions, and I did lust after sexually immoral things. But then I read the first lesson about being thirsty on the Setting Captives Free website...

Volume 2:

Don't you just love God? I mean, really love Him? He is always there for us, building us up, encouraging us. I couldn't stand before anyone today and look them in the eye, without knowing He died for us. He wiped the slate clean for us. I mean really clean. Not a speck of chalk not a hint. Praise Him.

The last year and a half has really been a turning point. My ability to lean on His everlasting arms has been a refuge in stormy water. Each day is a battle, but each day is a new day.

You know what I live by now? Forgiveness. Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Forgiveness!! Unfortunately, the story ended for my marriage, but not for me. God took my wife away from me to break me away from the devil’s snare and to see where I really was. God used that to point me to Him. I broke, but God broke down only the walls that were keeping me from knowing Him. He started letting in the light; he restored me better than before. He made a way. It was like being on the edge of a knife. I could have gone in such a bad direction. But thanks to Him, he put people in my life that kept me "on point" to Him. I started hearing his Truth, Started burring it deep, deep inside my soul, and it started to fill up my cup past capacity.

I came to this conference last year and, I think the hard part for me, was listening to some of the guys give their testimony because they were all still married. While I was happy for them, I had a much different row to hoe - not only losing a wife, but I could not seek monogamy; I had to seek abstinence. I tell you, for all of you that are single out there; it is not about where you turn next but where you draw from. Feed on His word. Put off the old, and put on the new. You are not the same person anymore; you have the spirit within you, and He makes all the difference.

The most important part for me on the journey of purity, and there are so many, is to seek spiritual guidance to seek Christian counsel. Setting Captives Free helps to start that up in your life, but it should never, can never, stop there. You have to reach out to people who are spiritually stronger than you are; it is the only way you can be pulled up. It is amazing, the difference one person can make. To have to be honest enough with someone to say, "Hey, I am messed up here, and I can't fix myself." I can't tell you how much my counselor has meant to me. He kept me on the right track. He had been where I was before, and Christ had carried him through it all, and was able to lift me up, and point me in the right direction. He still does.

I am going to share a quote with you from Suzanne Hadley, just because she puts it so much better that I ever could. I just read it this week, and thought it really applied. It was in an article called "What girls wish you knew" from the www.boundless.org website. She is applying it more to dating, but I think the cross-over will be very apparent.

When I am getting to know a guy, one of the first things I consider is whether he is seeking accountability from other Christian men. A lone ranger is a red flag. While women naturally dwell in community, this kind of connection requires more of an effort for men. That does not mean it is less important. A man who takes accountability seriously shows that he wants his life to be laid bare and is inviting input into his blind spots. There is also less of a chance that he is fostering a hidden sin that has the potential to destroy a marriage. Similarly, a man who seeks out a mentor demonstrates a desire to develop his spiritual life under godly authority.

I had such a longing in my heart to be free, but until Christ entered my life, I could not do it on my own power. Most importantly, make sure you know Christ, that you have a relationship with Him. Two major things have to be present - prayer and a desire to read His word. Not too hard, but we overlook it so much.

You know how I mentioned about God restoring Nebuchadnezzar. He did for me! In my life, and in so many countless other people's lives I have met in this past year. I want to tell you there is Hope. His name is Love. He is the I AM. His name is Christ!

Get rid of the lies and the deceit. Step into the light. I know it's hard, because all people, by nature, love darkness. Even as a Christian, there are times I still want to run and hide. But put it out there; don't be afraid to get real with another person about your struggles, to be honest. Sin is common to all men.

Live for Him, no one else. He died for our sins, and paid the price for our souls. He took our place, so we could live free.

David Lanning

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Bryan Reif's Testimony

Good morning. My name is Bryan Reif, and my wife and best friend, Lisa, is here with me today. I am a graduate of the Setting Captives Free New Wine Course, and am serving in the capacity of mentor in that course, and have been now for almost 2 years.

I have come out of a life of lying and deceit that began after a work accident on Sept 19, 1980, where I lost the tops of all 4 fingers on my right hand, and continued on for the next 24 years. You see, during that 24 years, I had 19 surgeries to try to relieve the constant pain in my fingers. With surgery, come pain killers and prescription narcotics with ever-increasing strengths and dosages. After the 19th surgery, the doctors said, "We can do no more. You will have to live with the pain and manage it with the drugs from here on in." I was devastated and angry.

About 8 years ago, I met my wife, Lisa, and she got to know me and somehow still fell in love with me as I was - an addict and a problem binge drinker. Now, she knew about the booze, but I went to great lengths to hide the pills - secret doctor’s appointments, photocopying prescriptions, and double doctoring, just to ensure that I had a steady supply. And, the whole time, the woman whom I loved so much never knew what was going on behind the scene.

We are members of Harvest Bible Chapel in Barrie, Ontario, and on May 16, 2004, God really impressed upon me my need to confess my sin to Him, to Lisa and to my pastor so I could be free of this demon that had ruled my life and consumed my thoughts for most of my life. Romans 6:11-14 says:

¹¹ So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. ¹² Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. ¹³ Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. ¹⁴ For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

God was ready to do some radical transforming in my life through a course that I had never even heard of before. Col 1:13-14 says:

¹³ He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Just as those ugly little caterpillars change or transform into beautiful butterflies, God was waiting to transform my life and my marriage into what He wanted it to be. It has been well said that "If you don’t have the joy that you should have in your life ~ you are probably holding on to something that you shouldn’t be." Well that was me. I was happy on the outside, I could fool anyone - my church, my small group and even my wife and family, but oh, how I was hurting on the inside.

I was a born-again Christian since January 4, 1987. I had trusted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I loved Him, but I was not walking the walk. Whenever God would speak to me, I would try to drown Him out with pills, or booze, or both. I was running from Him, just as Jonah did, but we know in the story that the faster and the further Jonah ran, God was right there beside Him (and me!). I was not asking God to be God in my life. Sure, He had a prominent place in my life, but He wanted the pre-eminent place and I was not willing to pay the price to walk the walk so what I said, and what I did, were two very different things.

I had the privilege of being in a small group at a leadership conference with Dr. Billy Graham in Syracuse New York, in 1989. Dr. Graham shared with the five or six of us a story of his flying on a plane to go to another crusade. Seated right in front of him and George Beverly Shea was a man who was very loud and very drunk. As the flight progressed, he became worse and worse, cursing and swearing and making obnoxious comments to those around him and to the stewardesses. Finally, having enough, one of the stewardesses came back to him and said, "Do you not realize who is sitting right behind you?" With that the man stood up, took one look at Billy and extended his arm ad said "Billy Graham, your messages have had a deep and a profound impact on my life! Thank-you."

Far too often, we know what we should be doing and we do not do it or we know that we shouldn’t be doing something and we do it. So, to get to the right place we have to empty ourselves. Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law says in Ruth 1:21 "I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty." Here, Naomi had to be brought back empty so that The Lord could fill her.

On that Sunday, May 16, 2004 I went to the cross, empty. I was broken and I called out to God "OK! Enough!" and "I give up! I can not do it my way anymore." And then, finally, He had me just where He needed me to be. He came, just as He said He would, and nothing has been the same ever since.

Last year Shon Bruellman stood and said to all of us who were here, "Some of you will not be back here next year, because you will turn back and fall." That spoke to me in such a powerful way and, right then, I determined to ensure that I would be here this year. Shon went on to sing a song that my entire family has come to know and love and knows word for word called "Feels to be free." In it, some of the lines say, "This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that I am forgiven" and another line says, talking about the past sin, "I won’t go back again."

Where are you this morning? Joshua marched to Jericho, and there was a great wall that stood before him that he could not take down on his own. God told him what to do and he did it, exactly as asked, and God knocked the walls down flat! What walls are there in your life that stand between you and God today? What joy you are missing out on, the longer that you allow them to stand there. And remember - you built them, not God. How can we achieve this amazing victory like Joshua? Jesus accomplished it as He hung on the cross for you and for me. You see, He accomplished EVERYTHING that He came to do. When He completed it, He cried out "It is finished!"

Everything that you need to live the victorious life over ANY stronghold in your life right now is freely and totally available to you, if you will just go to the cross and cry out, as I did, "Enough!" "I give up!" "I surrender, God!" If there is something in your life that God is speaking to you about, why not stop running and go to Him right now?

If you have been delivered from a stronghold, then praise God for His victory in your life, and stay faithful to Him. Many people are counting on you and your faithfulness.

I am over two years now with no alcohol, and no pills. My life is brand new, and I can look at myself and my marriage and praise God for His transforming power and for the sufficiency in Christ Jesus.

To close, let me read Psalms 34:6-9 (ESV) ⁶ This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. ⁷ The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. ⁸ Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! ⁹ Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!

Bryan Reif

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Darlene Revis' Testimony

First of all, I want to thank God and the staff of Setting Captives Free for this opportunity to tell you how God has blessed my life even though I have not been the least bit worthy of his wonderful grace. I am very humbled to have even been asked, and do not take it lightly.

My name is Darlene Revis and I live in a small town outside of Hendersonville, North Carolina, called Flat Rock. I am a student enrolled in the classes of Setting Captives Free.

I grew up as a ward of the state, spending infancy and early childhood in foster care and, at the age of seven, was placed in a state-supported boarding school, where I remained until I graduated. This environment, while it provided basic needs, also made me very independent and extremely strong-willed, with a overwhelming desire to make it on my own, regardless of the price I had to pay. Having lived such a rigid, controlled, and obedient life, I entered the military, which provided the same atmosphere. This is where I began the sin of gambling for fun - a sin that would become habitual and last for over thirty-two years. Little did I know that, in time, it would become a idol.

The next twenty years of my life were spent living the dream that, as a child, I had only dreamed about. My military career was wonderful, as my childhood had designed me well to adapt and accept this type of life. I married a wonderful (military-career) man who allowed me to have my way for the thirty years the Lord gave us together. This marriage produced two wonderful boys, who I absolutely adored. I thought I now had it all. I continued to gamble and, since I was debt-free, a good person, and a law-abiding citizen, I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing. I was happy. I needed nothing and no one.

Many times in my life, God sent people to minister to me, but I refused. Only when my oldest son almost died in a car wreck did I begin to need and listen to the call of God. My husband, myself, and my younger son were all saved at different times during that year. As we nursed my older son, who had been left with brain damage, back to some sort of normal life, we began to attend church regularly, but did not fully participate. I continued to gamble when I wanted but. at this point, it became of some concern to me because I didn't want anyone in the church to know I was leading a double-life. I still felt OK, because I did not see that I was hurting anyone.

Three years ago, my life was to turn upside down again, with another car wreck which ultimately took the life of my precious younger son at the age of twenty-six. I was in total devastation yet, less than one year later, my husband died unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm. The church filled the void temporarily but, unfortunately, that was disrupted when I realized I had gotten mixed up in a spiritually abusive church, and ways were parted. I resorted to T.V. church for the next few years.

Having what I thought was nothing left, I turned to the familiar -I began to gamble more and more and thought less and less of what it was doing to me. I was becoming an addict, fast and strong. There was a void in my life, and I was looking in the wrong place to fill it. Yet, I had this incredible empty feeling in my heart and I knew I needed spiritual fulfillment. I became extremely needy.

This past Christmas Eve, I went to the casino because I could not spend another Christmas alone in such grief and pain, but it didn't cure my problems either. When I got home, I got on the Internet looking for Christmas E-cards to send, but the site that came up was Setting Captives Free (and not by my own doing). The time was right, and it was only God. I fell under such conviction of the Holy Spirit that, even though, I saw the gambling class, I tried to go and do the smoking class because this would have been so much easier to explain, and also kept me from telling the truth about gambling. Needless to say, the Holy Spirit put me on the gambling class. I knew deep down inside that I truly needed to be here, as the gambling was increasing more and more, and I was being more and more controlled by this idol that I was devoting all of my attention, time, and money to. For the first time in my life, I was extremely needy.

Once I began the gambling class, I knew God has a plan for me. But, it would mean giving up the strong-will, attitudes, and self that Darlene had spent most of fifty-two years so wrapped up in. This wasn't going to be easy, and I could never have done it myself. Only with the grace of God did I begin to accept what was offered. There was a process begun in me that day, a process of repentance, forgiveness and a purification of my soul that has not stopped.. I can now say I am free from the habitual sin of gambling. It is because of God's grace, mercy and long-suffering that I am where I am today. I am thankful first of all to a almighty God who loved me when I was not lovable, and to Setting Captives Free ministry, and to a wonderful mentor who has stood by me, with me, and even up to me along the way. Not only do I have freedom from gambling, but I now have a new-found relationship with my heavenly father that I had never known before. God's grace has allowed me to not only to be free from gambling, but many other strongholds that have held me in bondage for years. I love to witness to the fact that God gave me peace for the past, grace for the present and hope for the future.

Darlene Revis

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Loren Reynolds' Testimony

Please hear the following verses of Scripture:

II Peter 1:3-4 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

My story falls into the typical beginning, middle and end format. I want to share where I was, where I am now, and where I am going.

When I was eight years old, and for a period of 5 years, I was molested by a close relative. My formative years were grounded in the mindset that the only way I could be liked or accepted was to give into the sexual demands of men.

I grew up, dated girls, want to a Christian college and met my wife. All the while, I had a secret life of sexual encounters with men. I was able to balance both worlds quite effectively until about 10 years ago, when I was seriously involved with a man. He wanted me to leave my wife and become his life partner. When I refused, he called my wife and "outed" me. My world came crashing down. I was despondent, and wanted to take my own life, due to the fact that I now had to face up to the reality that my sin had finally found me out and caught up to me.

In the midst of that chaos, God had another plan in mind for me. I discovered the power of the cross and began to understand the true meaning of Christ's sacrifice for me. I praise Jesus for the light of His word and for the ministry of Christian counselors! I had begun seeing a terrific counselor at that time and he introduced me to the settingcaptivesfree.com website. I reluctantly signed on for the first 60-day course. It took me 90 days to complete it! Something wonderful happened. I began getting into the word. I was raised in the church and knew all the terms, the expectations, and how to navigate fairly successfully in that arena. I taught Sunday School, served on church boards, sang in the choir and played any role I was asked. BUT I never really took time to understand or study the word like we’re asked to do in the Door of Hope course. I was so grateful to the Lord for what He did for me by setting me free; I began to rejoice in the life of purity that grace had wrought in my heart, and I did not want to quit at course end. So, I signed up for the Cross course study! Again, I knew the concept of the cross, but never really understood the impact the power of Christ’s death and resurrection could have on my life. God was moving in my heart and drawing me closer to him. I began to see "men" in a new light. I saw that many guys had hurts, pain, disappointments, and needs just like me. I felt a desire to take the mentorship course from Setting Captives Free. After completing it, I began mentoring men for the Door of Hope study. I discovered that many, many men have been sexually abused. I discovered the freedom I had attained through Christ was available to anyone who seeks it.

Today, I am walking in victory. Trials still come, temptations raise their ugly head on occasion but, through the cross, I am under no obligation to give in to them. I find myself hungering more and more for Jesus. I understand what "pray without ceasing" really means. Like the old Gaither song says: "I live and breathe in freedom with each breath of life I take. I am forgiven. Back with the Living. I’m just a sinner saved by grace"

Like the scripture I shared at the beginning of this testimony, I have found that our Father does indeed "give me everything I need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Jesus Christ." I am excited about the days ahead. My relationship with my wife is better than ever. She loves me and joins me in reaching out to men who walk where I once walked. I am beginning a Master’s Degree in counseling through a solid Christian graduate school this September. Most important, I know I have wonderful days ahead to fall more and more in love with Christ and His word!

Loren Reynolds

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Susan Rosa's Testimony

While I've been a Christian since I was a teenager, I have also been a glutton for about as long. That word--glutton--sounds so ugly, but it does describe my behavior. If there was an occasion to eat, I would take it, along with nibbling and binging in between regular meals. I've come to realize that my sin of gluttony is part of a larger problem; I have a rebellious spirit that needs to be submitted to God in more ways than just food. I could stand here and make excuses about why I might have chosen food as my drug of choice, but the bottom line is that my choice was the wrong response! The reasons for overeating may have started on the inside, but eventually showed on the outside, too. It came between my relationships with my family, my husband, and God. I wasted money, time and energy always looking for that perfect diet that would allow me to lose weight while still eating all I wanted. I'm here to tell you it does not exist!

My point of desperation came gradually; I woke up to the fact that the overeating was not enjoyable anymore. I was doing it compulsively, unable to stop on my own, but I knew that looking for another diet plan was no longer the answer. I threw out all my diet books and made a promise to myself that I would not spend another dime on anything like that. I still needed help, but wanted it to be Biblically based and without any type of food restrictions, and had to offer advice that would reflect changes I was willing to make for a lifetime. Then I read about The Lord's Table course in a newspaper article, and it was over two years ago now that I started the 60-day Bible study.

The Lord's Table course has truly been an answer to prayer. Jesus has changed my life and, while I am still far from perfect, I am certainly not the same person that I was when I began. I've changed on the inside...my heart longs for my Lord, and I've changed on the outside...now about 85 pounds lighter. I used to dream of, and even prayed, that I would just wake up and all my weight would be gone. Instead, it took me about 18 months for the outside to reflect the changes that were going on, on the inside. It was certainly a slow, slow process, but I realize now that I would have not learned as much. The Scriptures had the answers to my needs:

Diet Books?

ROMANS 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.

Food Restrictions?

I CORINTHIANS 6:12
You may say that I am allowed to do anything. But I reply, not everything is good for you. And even though I am allowed to do anything, I must not become a slave to anything. (I used to be a slave to chocolate!)

Feasting on Him?

PSALM 119:103
Your words are so choice, so tasty; I prefer them to the best home cooking.

I feel like I am at the real "test" in my testimony now. I got down to my goal weight before Christmas but, by March, had put about 10 pounds back on that I've been fighting with ever since. When I was asked to give my testimony I hesitated because of this issue. But I am here to remind you that while this is not a lifelong struggle, it is a lifelong discipline, a daily renewal, and a continuous commitment. Not to a diet, but to confessing my weakness and my need for help to my Lord. My weight and eating issues have been one of the things that continually have brought me to my knees. Before, it used to be in repentance for overeating, but then I would get back up and look for another diet to start. Now my repentance for the times I stumble is followed by thankfulness for a heart that truly longs after Christ. Wherein the past I tried to fill that ache in my heart with food, I've now found that it is only Him that truly satisfies.

Susan P. Rosa

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