Breath of Life Testimony: Roe

My life was going along pretty good. I felt I was a pretty strong Christian (definitely prideful, and you know pride goes before the fall). I was a very busy person (stressed). My dad passed away, and it was hard. One day I came home from work and was sitting on the porch looking at my daughter's cigarettes. I had not smoked in almost 13 years, and thought those days were over. But I picked one up walked into the back woods with my dog and smoked it. It made me dizzy, and it wasn't pleasant, but the cycle began again. I snuck one here and there "just for fun." Then I went to visit my sister and actually bought a pack. I remember joking about it with her, but this act really did me in. The cycle of smoking and stopping - or at least saying I was stopping - continued for almost three years. I would talk to God about it and always justify it. My husband and son were on me about it, but they eventually gave up. My son even said it was hurting my testimony. It was a roller coaster of emotion, beating myself up, then justifying. When I finally decided to really quit, I couldn't do it, which shocked me completely. Now I am praying for God to help me, and my friend told me about Setting Captives Free. She was doing the Lord's Table. At first I wouldn't enroll, because I knew this was going to be hard. I was actually scared to death that I would fail. Then I peeked at it one day and decided not to do it, but the site emailed me and thanked me for checking them out and I decided to give it a whirl. Well, the first day I was devastated by the truth that hit me right in the face. I finished Day 1 and went on my porch to smoke my last cigarette with the intent of enjoying this last one. Well, I lit it, took a couple of drags and burst into tears. I asked God to forgive me for my flippant attitude about all this and my pride and how from now on I just wanted to bring Him glory. Now it took me almost five months to complete this 60-day course. Although I never smoked, I struggled - but the scripture, my mentor Tonya, and even the automatic replies have helped me tremendously. The truth has set me free from smoking. This time I know I must be on guard always and not let the roaring lion anywhere near me. I have completely gotten rid of all cigarettes. Now I am able to be around family that is smoking but when it gets hard, I flee and get into the Word or do something to get my mind off it. Your biblical concepts of getting free and staying free are so praiseworthy! I have told others and keep encouraging them to give it a try. My daughter quit, too! I give my Lord and Savior all the glory for this and thank Him for all of you at Setting Captives Free and making you there for all of us. Thanks so much for helping me be free! It's a beautiful thing.