Door of Hope Testimony: Larry

Bob Carlson is my mentor and he has been a tremendous encouragement to me while I completed this course. The following is a condensed version of my testimony:
I was sexually abused by a neighbor when I was 4 years old. My dad was always distant towards me and showed little interest in me and showed no affection towards me. I was never good at sports. I was uncoordinated. I was a quiet child who preferred to read. My dad did not know how to relate to me so he mostly ignored me. I interpreted this as being unloveable and unworthy. I felt that it was all my fault that my dad did not love me. I spent my choldhood trying to please him but never knowing how. And so I gave up and withdrew from all the usual boy activities. I never felt I measured up to other boys. At age 13 I began to have sexual urges and I noticed that I was attracted to very fit males. I was very embarrased by this. it became a life of fantasy for me. I always felt inadequate and separate and "different". I decided to keep this a secret forever. I attended college then went into the service. In the service I had two sexual encounters with men. I guess I was llooking for a man to value me and want to be with me. However, I decided that this was not the type of life God had planned for me. I got married and had two children and lived a outwardly heterosexual life along with my secret homosexual fantasy life. This secret made me feel dirty and disgusting. I tried on my own to "cure' myself but without success. In January of 2009 my son discovered some of the sites I had been visiting on the computer. He was horrified and plead with me to get help as did my wife and daughter. I did not know that there was help available and If there was help, where to find it. I was able get in contact with a Christian organization that helped people leave homosexual lifestyles and saw a Christian psychologist for a year and a half. I learned how I came to have a homosexual desire but I did not learn how to rid myself of this desire. Someone told me of the Setting Captives Free web sited and I started the 60 day course on April 10, 2010. I have now completed it and, for the first time in my life I am feeling hope again and through God's infinite love for me and His power to defeat satan, I am feeling SET FREE! HALLELUJAH! TO GOD BELONGS ALL THE GLORY!