Door of Hope Testimony: frank

My mentor through the door of hope was Rusty.

I took "The Way Of Purity" course before taking " The door of hope " course and I had suceeded in purity in the first course as well. After I finished "The Way Of Purity" I had decided to try to become a mentor so I began the mentorship course for 5 days and had begun the 6th but because of strong temptations I decided to take "The door of Hope".

I have suceeded in purity throughout this course as well making it be 125 days of freedom from bondage to sexual sins.
I used to gratify my flesh and give myself over to impurity and view pornography nearly every day, it was like a part of the daily routine, I knew that it was a sin but I had thought that everyone did it and that we were all depraved and trapped in sin no matter what we did , but I was wrong. Christ did not die for nothing. He died to forgive us and give us his spirit and to help us to live and walk in and by the spirit daily to where we do not have to constantly fail and fall and live in a constant state in which we can never really honestly please God. Christ made it possible , Christ sets the captives free and he set me free from these sins and I am free indeed and I despise those sins which used to hold me down and enslave me.
I used to always live in a world where nothing was every good enough and where I hated myself and I hated who I was and the only solace I ever found was in fantasies and dream worlds in which I constructed for myself. This saying I would hate my life so I would hide away and imagine that I was someone entirely different than who I was. I would want to be a girl and to live in a world where other people took care of me and "loved" me and wanted to "please" me. But it was a lie that led me to only always come up missing in the end. I would try to find happiness and to be content but the sins were all things that I kept on coming back to that God said was sin in the bible and the sins I committed weren't keeping their promises to satisfy me. I had to keep on going back to them.
Those sins and lovers left me to bleed alone and I learned that all that was just vainity underneath the sun. I was left alone to bleed and cry in pain by those things but then I called out to God in the midst of it all and he came and he saved me!
some friends suggested the setting captives free courses and I began to take the courses seriously and my life and who I was seriously. Being a bible major at a christian university and a part time preacher at age 20. I saw that I needed to seek God with all my heart to be who it was HE wanted me to be. Now they are the same , I want to be who he wants me to be. I do not want to be a "pretty girl" anymore , nor do i want to be the man who gets all the girls . I am seeking a wife and hoping for marriage but I am not any longer dating inappropriatly or commiting sexual sins on dates anymore.
Because of God giving me grace and his spirit living inside of me (so that my old sinful self can stay dead ) and his making me into a new creation I can walk in the spirit and live a holy life just as he is holy and I can stand blameless before his throne because of all he and his son have done for me.
I can be who God created me to be and I can be good and I do not have to continually bow down and give the members of my body over to impurity and wickedness and to cast my entire body into the flames. i do not have to be condemned to being one of satan's children and I can live day by day celibate for my Lord who is my first and greatest love.
God began me on a path with these courses and God has set out on an adventure with me for the rest of this life to conquor and to slay sin that comes in to invade and pervade my life and I hope that he will do for you what he did for me. I pray that he will.
-Frank F. -