Door of Hope Testimony: Seth

Mentor: Julio Canas

I grew up in a Christian home. I definitely think I had a childhood that most people would probably love to have. Still, I was distant from my dad and intimidated by him quite often because he is certainly an imposing figure. I grew up sometimes making friends with other boys, but as I got into intermediate school and junior high, I found myself more comfortable around girls, and I was afraid or awkward around other boys. I think it was in seventh grade when I started to feel attracted toward other boys, but I didn’t really think too much of it then. I looked up some bad images on the computer, and was caught for doing it that year.
When I was 14, I prayed to become a Christian and asked Christ to be my Lord and Savior. I’ll never forget that day – another problem I’d been struggling with for a while was doubt, and it seemed like every time at church, I would pray the prayer of salvation “just in case” I wasn’t saved. That day, though, I just got alone with Christ and I believed, and I knew that Christ was in my life.
The problem with homosexuality got worse, but I do know that it wasn’t too long before I began to feel conviction in my life every time I would fall. I was caught again my freshman year of high school and again during my junior year. As I got older, I felt more and more convicted of sin and would get very broken up over it and repent and want nothing more than to get my life right with God.
The conviction became even tougher, and during my freshman year of college I was very, very broken at many points in time. I knew I had to change, that something had to be different, that I needed to get right with God and escape the captivity I was in. I began attending an amazing church almost every Sunday, and God blessed me with so many great Christian friends during my first year of college.
I came home for the summer, and after falling several times, God finally led me to Setting Captives Free. I was in desperate need of help. My sins had included looking at pornography, self-gratification and lusting after other males, and I was trapped. For so long, I had even seriously doubted my salvation because I wasn’t changing and I was struggling with so much in my life. (Thanks be to 1 John, which talks about little children, young men and grown men in Christ).
I learned SO much once I started the course. A few weeks into it, I just got before God and prayed – I prayed he would grant me genuine repentance, I told Him that I trusted Him with my life and it was His. That day, I walked away changed forever. Even though I do believe Christ was in my heart since that day when I was 14, about a month and a half ago was when I began to live above my flesh and in Christ. At last, I was relying on God's grace ALONE to get me through, and HE DID! God has done an AMAZING work in my life and I am SO THANKFUL that He NEVER gave up on me. I have learned to hide God’s word in my heart and drink of the Living Water every single day. I have learned to live above the desires of the flesh by living by the Spirit, and I have learned that Christ is a million times more pleasurable than sin. All of this, of course, was accomplished ONLY through the grace and power of Christ.

Most importantly, I learned that Christ is what I’ve truly been seeking all along – all I wanted was someone to love me unconditionally, someone to never let me down and never let me go. And I found this person, this Savior. His name is Jesus Christ.