Door of Hope Testimony: Andrew

My testimony goes something like this. I never remember in my childhood having homosexual tendencies. I had a father who loved me and I didn't feel neglected. I never remember even being remotely attracted to the same sex, nor did I remember having strong attraction towards the opposite. It was when I was 15 when I discovered pornography that things started to change. I think it was curiosity that really brought me to same sex attraction. Pornography was my gateway to it, and before too long I realized that this curiosity turned in to something more. It turned into full blown fleshly desires. It was something that I was dying to get away from but couldn't by my own strength. I even remember while I was caught in the sin, I hated it. I was filled with sins of lust, self-gratification and all kinds of impurity.

This lasted since I was age 15 to about age 21. Then I found the Lord. I really had a good encounter with Him. All my addictions, my cravings, etc. were met and I felt like I was done with the sin of homosexuality. It wasn't until I was 23 going on 24 when it started creeping back up on me. I started choosing sin and my flesh over the Lord and sooner than you knew it, I was back in it again. I thought, "Man! How can I ever overcome this?" I hated what I was doing, I knew it was wrong, but it was almost like I couldn't stop. I also felt like a hypocrite. I was saying that I was a Christian but then I would turn around and sin. I also thought my sin was the worst sin in the world.

I remember about a a few months ago I was doing The Lord's Table Course with SCF, and I saw that there was a DOH program. I almost told myself, "No way! I do not want anyone to know my sin other than God!" You see, was so secretive in my sin that it was eating me up. But, I felt the Lord say, "Yes." So I signed up and the DOH gave me a perspective of the sin of homosexuality that I never knew before and how unfulfilling it really was. It help me see my identity in Christ, and who Christ called me. They gave me an amazing mentor, who encouraged me, and I felt like he wanted me to really come out of it. Praise God because I feel like my life is changed. I have victory, and my whole life has changed even my prayer life, my worship and my relationship with God.

I really felt like with openness and confession to others is what helped to set me free. It really helped me walk in the light, and go through the Door Of Hope. It allowed God to really take my burdens off of me. He also showed me that my sin wasn't "the worst sin in the world." It was just sin like pride or stealing. I am so in love with God because he has just bee so faithful, accepting and loving of me. These things I was longing for when I pursued homosexuality, but I never found.