Door of Hope Testimony: Luke

My mentor's name is Samuel Byers. I was born into a Christian home and raised in the Church, even attending a Christian high school from 4th grade through graduation. When I was six, my family watched the Jesus film and afterward I remember having questions about it and talking with my mom, eventually praying to acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I suppose I count this night as the point at which I was saved, but if I were to stop here my testimony would be far from complete. As I grew into my teenage years, sexual immorality became a huge part of my life. I remember finding my first pornographic magazine in the bathroom of a bookstore around the age of 11 or 12. Later, but around this same age, I discovered my two older brothers had pornography in our house without my parents knowledge, so it was readily available for me to view. Pretty soon, against the convicting of the Holy Spirit and my conscience, I was bowing down to the idols of pornography and self-gratification. As I viewed pornography in these formative years, however, I began to see desires in my life that I didn’t know what to do with. I found myself focusing on the men in the images or videos, then occasionally experimenting with homosexual pornography, then focusing on that entirely. Of course it wasn’t long until these desires transcended the virtual realm, and I was struggling with homosexual desires in general. I seriously doubted who I was and though I felt terrible about my sin, I didn’t know how to find a way out. What’s worse, my uncertainty about my identity and insecurity in myself fed my homosexual desires, but these desires simply made the problems worse; it was a terrible cycle to be in and I’m saddened that I so foolishly continued to engage in this sin.
This continued through high school and into the first two years of college. Though I am thankful God spared me from fully participating in the homosexual lifestyle, I still stumbled in immorality trying to satisfy these desires. I knew I wanted freedom, though, and by God’s grace I finally realized I needed to share these struggles with someone. I confided in a Christian friend at school, though I didn’t share with him my homosexual struggles until later. This was at the beginning of my sophomore year, and freedom was still a ways down the road. Finally I decided to become involved in a small group at my church my junior year, and, thanks be to God, I was placed in a group whose leader is an amazing man of God. He began pointing me down the road to freedom, offering Scriptural advice and directing me to Setting Captives Free. I participated in the Way of Purity and Door of Hope courses, and though the journey has been long, these lessons revealed the truth of God’s Word to me, encouraged me in accountability and righteousness, and pointed me to the only One who has the power to free us from the dungeons of sin.
I know God doesn’t tempt us for push us into sin – I certainly chose to engage in sexual sin every step of the way, for which I take full responsibility. This being said, I am so thankful that He is able to take situations Satan intends for evil and turn them into good. The power of the Cross and Jesus’ victory over death is so much more real to me now, because I have experienced it firsthand. I know if He can heal the problems I had, He can do anything! Currently, my sin and access to it are radically amputated, I remain accountable to godly men, and I am seeing God help me fight the mental battle and renew my mind which I damaged so greatly. For the first time in a long time, I have desires to pursue a proper relationship with girls. I have always desired to be married and have a family, and now I have full hope that this is possible by God's grace!