Door of Hope Testimony: Peter Enns

My name is Peter. I was sexually abused as a child. In my adult years I used that as an excuse to indulge in self-gratification, homosexuality and pornography. As time went on it became a raging fire that was burning me up. I wanted to change, but only for selfish reasons, for my reputation. I thought marriage would be the answer, but it wasn't. I lived a double standard for most of my married life. Sometimes I was successful in changing, but when the pressure came I always fell back into sin. I lost all hope. My heart was just too hard and calloused. But praise God He changed all that on the morning of October 10, 2004. I was angry at God. I did not sleep at all the night before. I seriously thought I would kill myself, but God spared my life. He showed me that He loved me so much that He gave Jesus, His Son to die a horrible death on the cross for me, so that I could be set free. He took my unrepentant, calloused, hard heart that morning, and broke it.

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, says Jehovah; though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool.

Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. And I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.

When I said "Lord I give up, please help me," He gave me the grace to repent.

2 Corinthians 7:10, For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death.

It was for my sins Jesus died on the cross.

Psalms 51:4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done evil in Your sight; that You might be justified when You speak, and be clear when You judge.

God changed me. Not behavior modification, not a 12-step program, but a complete turning from myself, from sin, to God.

2 Corinthians 5:17 So that if any one is in Christ, that one is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

I was a captive, but God has set me free.