Door of Hope Testimony: Loren Reynolds

II Peter 1:3-4 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

My story falls into the typical beginning, middle and end format. I want to share where I was, where I am now, and where I am going.

When I was eight years old, and for a period of five years, I was molested by a close relative. My formative years were grounded in the mentality that the only way I could be liked by guys was to give in to their sexual demands. A vicious cycle of habitual sin developed a self-destructing pattern.

I grew up, dated girls, want to Christian college and met my wife. All the while I had a secret life of sexual encounters with men. I was able to balance both worlds quite effectively until about ten years ago when I was seriously involved with a man. He wanted me to leave my wife and become his life partner. When I refused, he called my wife and "outed" me. My world came crashing down. I was despondent and seriously considered suicide. Praise God for Christian counselors. I was seeing a terrific counselor at that time. He introduced me to the settingcaptivesfree.com web site. I reluctantly signed on for the first 60-day course. It took me 90 days to complete it! Something wonderful happened. I began getting into the word. I was raised in the church and knew all the terms, the expectations, and how to navigate fairly successfully in that arena. I taught Sunday School, served on church boards, sang in the choir and played any role I was asked. BUT I never really took time to understand or study the word like we're asked to do in the DOH course. I liked the new me I felt God was creating. I did not want to quit at course end. So I signed up for the Cross course study! Again, I knew the concept of the cross but never really understood the impact the power of Christ's death and resurrection could have on my life. God was moving in my heart and drawing me closer to him. I began to see "men" in a new light. I saw that many guys had hurts, pain, disappointments, and needs just like me. I felt a desire to take the mentorship course from SCF. After completing it, I began mentoring men for the DOH study. I discovered that many, many men have been sexually abused. I discovered the freedom I had attained through Christ was available to anyone who seeks it.

Today I am walking in victory. Trials still come, temptations raise their ugly head on occasion but through the cross I am under no obligation to give in to them. I find myself hungering more and more for Jesus. I understand what "pray without ceasing" really means. Like the old Gaither song says: "I live and breathe in freedom with each breath of life I take. I am forgiven. Back with the Living. I'm just a sinner saved by grace"

Like the scripture I shared at the beginning of this testimony, I have found that our Father does indeed "give me everything I need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Jesus Christ."

I am excited about the days ahead. My relationship with my wife is better than ever. She loves me and joins me in reaching out to men who walk where I once walked. Most important, I know I have wonderful days of ministry and productivity to fall more and more in love with Christ and His word.