Door of Hope Testimony:

When I was in junior high and high school I was addicted to using my imagination for sexual fantasies - then would end each session with masturbation. I never got into porn but I did engage in some homosexual acts during that time of my life.

In Junior High school I would always wear shirts or sweaters that hung down low in the front to hide the fact that I often walked around school aroused because of the sexual fantasies playing out in my mind. At that time of my life, my sexual thoughts didn't merely invade my head… they lived there. I had no control over them. All someone had to do to start the sexual avalanche of fantasies is smile at me in the corridor.

For hours after that encounter the fantasies would build up in my head. It was a scary thing to one day realizes that you lost control over your own mind. When I started high school I also started taking drugs and drinking to cope with my sexual problems. I soon discovered that when I was high on alcohol or drugs I had less trouble controlling my sexual thoughts and fantasies.

It didn't take long before I ended up addicted to heroin, and shooting it into my veins four or five times a day. I sold the drug to others in order to support my own growing habit. By this time I was in the Air Force and living overseas. After overdosing several times I ended up in a military hospital on the base where I was stationed. I eventually got busted and ended up arrested for drug use.

Shortly after that last drug overdose I asked Jesus to come into my life and change me. That took place in December of 1972. The drug use stopped right then, but the sexual fantasies and masturbation didn't. It took about three months to break the cycle of fantasy & masturbation in my life.

I noticed as I memorized scripture and studied my Bible that my "out of control" sexual urges subsided. The fantasies and masturbation also stopped. For many years after that I enjoyed absolute freedom from sexual sin.

There was, however, a period in my life when I allowed the chains of addiction to wrap themselves around my heart once again. It took me several years to climb out of that pit I had allowed myself to fall into. Today I would not change sexual freedom for anything the world has to offer. The joy of walking in victory and helping others find that road is way more satisfying than any fantasy or sexual experience.

As sick as I was, if I could climb out of that insanity pit of addiction and walk around in freedom - then I know others can do it., too!

I am now Set free by Christ in order to serve.