Door of Hope Testimony:

About a month into "Door of Hope" I had a major fall. I had my first homosexual experience with another man. I left that experience feeling both devastated and excited. Intellectually, I knew it was a major step in the wrong direction. Emotionally, I felt devastated but I still felt excited by this new sexual experience. Im thankful I was plugged into "Setting Captives Free" during this time.

The bottom had dropped out of my life. I had spent years toying with homosexual fantasies, dabbling in phone sex and internet porn, but I always felt like I was skating just outside of the danger zone. I periodically tried to change that part of my life but never wholeheartedly. I discovered, though, that sin doesnt let me be neutral. My sin was dragging me downward into a life I didnt want.

This course helped me to experience deep freedom for the first time in my life - but not until I took the course seriously. When I filled it out periodically when it was convenient I discovered that my approach toward my sin had a similar relaxed approach. But when I committed to being vigilent about dealing with all these issues, real change started to happen.

I have experienced 60 days of being "sober" from the drunkenness of homosexual addiction and Im beginning to experience a new man emerging from within me. I have begun to realize how much homosexuality has chipped away at my self confidence and self image. Most importantly, it has skewed my view of the Lord. As my focus has shifted myself to the Lord I have felt like a more authentic person for the first time in my life.

After dealing with the deeper issues rooted in my attractions and behavior I discovered that I started to feel a broader range of emotions than I experienced before. At first this was frightening. In the past I would deal with difficult emotions by burying them in pornography or phone sex. But as they began to express themselves freely I have been able to deal with them in healthy ways.

I still feel like Im at the beginning of this transformation process. I realize it is still too easy for me to fall into old patterns and I need to keep the truths of "Door of Hope" close to my heart. But I feel like Im building my life on a new foundation now and Im thankful to your course and my mentor for showing me that that is possible.