Higher Stakes Testimony: Les

My mentor is Jason, and also Wendy Lillie, my daughter. I was saved in 1968 in a small Baptist Church in Appleton, Wisconsin. My brother, his wife, and my wife at the time were also saved and were we all baptized at the same time. I was a police officer, and believed it was God's plan for me. It was a pretty incredible time. Even after moving to Colorado in 1976, there was no doubt in my mind that God wanted to use me in law enforcement. I remained in law enforcement for a total of thirty-seven years. In 1992, I started ingnoring God's whispers and proceeded to get a divorce. Satan had convinced me that I was just sitting around witing to die, and it was time for me to change my life and "have some fun," with new challenges and goals. I had been married for nearly twenty-nine years; my wife was a good wife and a good mother. There was ne reason for me to do what I did, other than selfishness. Not only did I hurt and disappoint a lot of people, I nearly lost my daughter. However, God was very gracious to me as He allowed me to find another good woman, a good mother with a three-year-old son. I started gambling almost immediately after leaving my first wife. It was fun, it was different and I could lose myself and forget all other problems. My thing was slot machines. We would go to the casino and spend twelve hours sitting at the same machine. It became a challenge to me, and I kept saying that "It has to pay out soon; I've put enough into it. On a regular basis, I would lose anywhere from five hundred to a thousand dollars. If I didn't have the cash, I would use a credit card. It wasn't too long before my credit cards were maxed out, and I would draw more out of my checking account, then come back down and pawn something to cover my losses. Within a couple of years, I had gone far enough in debt that the only recourse I had was to file bankruptcy. Each time I came back down from gambling, I would get depressed and swear I wasn't going back again. That would last till our next payday, then back again I would go. It became a vicious cycle. Payday, get all excited, go up to the casinos, lose, come back depressed, pawn something, and be broke for the next twenty-nine days. I lost respect for myself as a man. I had done two of the most terrible things a man could do in his life - I got a divorce and filed bankruptcy. My depression continued to grow. During this time, God always seemed to either give me a way out or show me a way out, but I wasn't listening. In 2004, I felt God was saying to me, "You have done what I wanted you to do for thirty-seven years; it is time for a rest, and I retired from law enforcement. I had some money in a 401K that bailed me out financially again and I was debt-free, except for a vehicle. I knew I still had to work, as my son was a freshman in high school and there wasn't enough money to actually retire. God led me to a security officer job three blocks from home. It was great. Because of the free time I had then, I was also becoming re-acquianted with God. I was reading, I was fellowshipping with other Christians. However, I was still gambling also. I felt my walk with God then was closer than it had ever been and realized then that the reason God led me to leaving law enforcement was to get myself back where I needed to be with Him. In two years, since retiring from law enforcement, I was able to put myself back in debt to the tune of about twenty thousand dollars. I felt I had failed again. God had shown away for me to get debt free and not be under any financial burdens. After coming down from the casino one night, I realized I couldn't go on like this and ask God to help me again. The Hoily Spirit spoke to me and told me I needed to first admit to God and my loved ones the fact that I had a gambling problem. God had led me to start an e-mail prayer group with some friends and my family a year earlier and kept suggesting to those in the group to "open up" and share their problems within the group. The Holy Spirit said, Why don't you use that venue to admit my problem to friends and love ones, and ask for prayer? I did that almost immediately. I must say that response from my family and friends was pretty quiet. I know that is they really didn't know what to say. It was my battle. Then my daughter, Wendy, sent me an e-mail and suggested I check out the "Setting Captives Free" website as she had taken a course there dealing with a weight problem. Again, it was almost immediately that I logged in and started taking the course "Higher Stakes." I haven't been gambling since. I don't play bingo anymore (which I did a lot prior to taking this course). I don't buy lotto tickets, and I havent been to a casino since July of 2005. I feel that through the grace of God and the prayers that I have broken the cycle I was in, and God has gained yet another victory over Satan. One reason I know I have broken the cycle is one day before the Super Bowl, I was joking with an employee over who was going to win a game between the Broncos and Pittsburg Steelers. Out of the blue I asked if he wanted to bet $5.00 on who was going to win. I can't tell you the guilt I felt after I left work when I realized I had just bet again. It was the Holy Spirit telling me NO gambling. It wasn't that the five dollars was a big deal; it was giving that opening to Satan. By God's grace, it won't happen again. Since starting the course and quitting gambling, God has given me peace about my financial situation. He also gave me a job, doubling my salary so I can get out of the problem I put myslef in. I'm reading God's word on a regular basis, and I know that I am once again doing His will, not mine. Thank you for the support and encouraging words throughout this course. It has been one more blessing in my life. Praise God.