In His Image Testimony: Gillian

I was broken and hurt, held captive by pain and shame. As a little girl I was abused by my alcoholic father, neglected by my mother who suffered from severe depression. I had to watch helplessly as my grandfather, who was the closest thing I had to daddy; suffer and die from Motor neuron disease. I felt lost in this cruel world, and I deperately searched for a way to control my life. I believed that the only thing I could control was my eating. I went from starving myself and avoiding all food, to eating certain foods, to binging and purging. I was driven to reach perfection in all areas of my life, and did not care about the cost. I wanted to prove that I worth something, not realizing that I was worth everything to God. But the more I tried the more terribly miserable I became. I lost the will to life, and tried to commit suicide several times and at 16 I came close to dying after I overdosed on laxatives. God saved me, and I realized that I was given a second chance at life. So I wanted to get better and solve the problem. I saw doctors, dieticians and psychologists. I read books, spoke to pastors, convided in friends and family, but nothing seemed to ease the pain I felt on the inside. Somethings would helped for a while, but no matter what course I took, I still ended up with my head over the toilet. The Made in the Image course was different to any other thing I tried. It did not focus on eating or self destruction, it focussed on the root of the problem - the heart. I have been I christian all my life, but I never knew the wonderful, loving and forgiving father that the course introduced me to. Since doing the course I am able to eat without feeling guilt or shame. Before I started I could not hold a small meal down in my stomach after eating, but now I am able to eat a decent meal without vomiting afterwards. I believe that like Lazarus, Jesus has raised me from the dead. He brought me back to life, removed all my sorrow, replacing it with so much love and joy, that at times I feel like I will to burst. Today I have peace because all my burdens are laid at His feet, I can rest becasue I have given Him control. I feel loved and adored by Him, and believe that God has an amzing future planned for me. I believe that I am worth loving, and that God will restore to me what was stolen. He will give me a wonderful family some day, and will use my story to save many others. I have discovered that God is my daddy, I am His creation, and no matter what season I am in God will stand by me.