By His Wounds Testimony: Mary Jo

Chains of Self-Bondage Broken

As a child not receiving the love I craved, I fell into the habit of self-harm at an early age. It was a self-bondage that that I could never have imagined and grew steadily deeper and made me more isolated. These behaviors gave me great shame for sharing my sin and receiving help as I grew older and realized this was wrong. Yet, I could not stop my desire to put myself into pain and humiliation. I was constantly seeking work although I had a college degree. It was hard to keep friends because I did not want them to find out what I did. It was if I was two persons, one a Christian, loving Jesus and helping others and another a slave to dark and horrific thoughts which would be acted out and put my body into bondage. This I thought I deserved, and so I easily allowed these thoughts although they, though God’s grace, were never constant.

It was only though a coincidence (God) that I found out about Setting Captives Free. Instantly, I knew that this was God’s gift to me, and I would be truly free. Through the course, I found that I am God’s workmanship and His garden. He made my body for Himself and He wanted to have my body for Himself. My Lord wanted this area that others couldn’t see but I knew about. He wanted intimacy with me! Yet I was giving myself to another lover: myself and Satan.

The Lord has given me true brokenheartedness to see my sin for what it was and replaced it with truth: Jesus paid the price for my sin and my punishment of myself and my cruelty to my body could and would not add to the price Jesus paid for me on the Cross. Lastly, my motivation has changed. I am free because I want to glorify my Lord, Jesus all the time. I am no longer like two persons serving different masters and having a different mindset with each one. He is healing my heart and taking off decades of chains. Towards the end of the course, I received a picture of Jesus taking off chain after chain from my body. Now I can truly be a slave not to self-harm but to righteousness, purity, and most importantly, Jesus.

Mary Jo, Minnesota