New Wine Testimony: Steve

I was raised in a large catholic family with a strong faith. I was the 4th of seven boys. I learned to fear God, serve and put others needs above my own selfish wants. As a catholic we were taught to participate in many rituals and say many prayers that were scripted for us and had deep spiritual meaning but most of the spirituality was lost in the repetition and in many cases I didn't understand in the first place. I had God in my life but he was not personal to me. He was more of a ruler and to be feared than he was a friend and source of guidance in my daily life.
In my early teens I was introduced to alcohol. I didn't know it for many years but I was hooked on alcohol from the very start. It calmed my fears and made it easier to fit in with people. It also caused many problems that I wore off as just something else to deal with. I know it was a large part of my dropping out of college.
God's path found me working a second job as a bartender where I met my wife. Neither one of us really needed the second job but God put us there for his purpose. I finally got into trade school, finished and got married. Alcohol was always a problem in my life but Donna seemed to reduce my abuse and give me something else to focus on.
We started raising a family and my drinking became more constant. Donna was pregnant with our Fourth child when she finally had enough. She said get help or get out. I went to treatment, got sober and stayed sober for 7 1/2 years. I worked the program got more involved with church and community activates and was really becoming a leader in society. The problem was I didn’t have a personal savior and God was not consciously involved in any decision or any part of my life except at church or during one of my rituals.
I started drinking again. no big trouble at first but over the course of the next ten years, I had two OWI's went to treatment 4 more times, was asked to leave my home several times got fired from a 20 year job at a company I helped build. I lost all respect from family, community and friends. I would stay sober for 6-9 months at a time, get out of trouble and start drinking again. I was involved with Bible studies, retreat programs and other spiritual activities but approached them more from an intellectual level then a personal level. I didn’t understand that Christ could be a personal savior as well as a close friend. I had heard about it but never experienced it or asked for it.
One night I got down on my knees and cried. I asked God to come into my life. It was not a prayer to get me out of what ever trouble satin had led me to at the time. It was a prayer for a change in my life and for something more satisfying and fulfilling. God led me to a new church community, non Catholic my other would turn over, and to Setting Captives Free. I got involved with my new Christian friends got a new job and got busy with life again. I didn’t quite finish the Setting Captives Free course before life took over again. I had learned to be thankful of all that God has done and does continually in my life but I hadn't learned to make Him personal in my day.
NOT DONE YET.
I started drinking again. no big trouble at first but over the course of the next ten years, I had two OWI's went to treatment 4 more times, was asked to leave my home several times got fired from a 20 year job at a company I helped build. I lost all respect from family, community and friends. I would stay sober for 6-9 months at a time, get out of trouble and start drinking again. I was involved with Bible studies, retreat programs and other spiritual activities but approached them more from an intellectual level then a personal level. I didn’t understand that Christ could be a personal savior as well as a close friend. I had heard about it but never experienced it or asked for it.
One night I got down on my knees and cried. I asked God to come into my life. It was not a prayer to get me out of what ever trouble satin had led me to at the time. It was a prayer for a change in my life and for something more satisfying and fulfilling. God led me to a new church community, non Catholic my other would turn over, and to Setting Captives Free. I got involved with my new Christian friends got a new job and got busy with life again. I didn’t quite finish the Setting Captives Free course before life took over again. I had learned to be thankful of all that God has done and does continually in my life but I hadn't learned to make Him personal in my day.
There I was drinking at night in a hotel out of town and thinking my sin didn't effect anyone. My work wasn't effected but my soul was. I got fired again. They very day I came home my son got into trouble and I was needed at home and in his life. I came back to Setting Captives Free to start over. God gave me many signs that showed me I didn't belong where I thought I needed to work, that I belong at home in a less prestigious position but serving in another way. I needed to listen to God more and to pray, read and be thankful less. What I was doing wasn't personal.
God called me to be baptized. I knew my infant baptism wasn’t enough that I must be born again. I needed an act of obedience and the phrase that hit me between the eyes while preparing my testimony is: I pledge allegiance to my God. This is also when I learned that gratitude and praise wasn't enough. I learned to Ask God. I now ask God to show me his will in every day decisions and in every little part of my life. Christ's entire life on earth was one of service. He is not done yet. John 15:7 says "But if you stay joined to me and my words remain in you, you may ask any request you like, and it will be granted". Today I ask for His guidance, His presence, His love, and His will. My best thinking gets me nowhere. His will takes me places I can't fathom and the blessings are beyond my dreams. Today I have a personal savior that wants me to ask Him into my life and wants to save me from my own thinking. I am allied to Him. I know if I stay joined to Him, He will take care of me and all I need to do is go where he leads me.
Steve from Ankeny Iowa