Way of Purity Testimony: Michael

My mentor's name is Hugh McIntosh.

I became captivated by sexual sin at a young age. I indulged in self-gratification and looked for opportunities to view sexually tempting material in clothing magazines and TV shows. I was in junior high when the internet came to our house, and although my parents purchased a filter, I found ways around it to pursue pornography. This continued on and off until my senior year when I went to my best friend and confessed my struggle. He had the same struggle, and together we fought together against the sin. After a few stumbles, I found absolute freedom in Christ through my early college years. However, during the first year of my marriage, I went back to porn and continued on and off for several years, getting caught several times. I would fight alone, never talking to my wife or friends about it anymore. Throughout this entire process I was active in my church, even teaching Bible at a Christian school. I was completely deceived about the depth of my depravity and the effect it was having on my character. I became withdrawn, distant, and uncaring towards my wife. Although I thought I was being loving much of the time, I was actually attempting to control and manipulate constantly. I became emotionally abusive and almost ruined our marriage with my pride and sin. Everything came to a head when my wife left and I was forced to humble myself and seek God's cleansing. I did, she returned, and the Lord healed our relationship. Even so, I have indulged in pornography in isolated instances since that healing and still would not share my lust struggles openly with my wife, nor honestly see my sinfulness. When I began this course at Setting Captives Free, I thought I was already "free" and just wanted a good Bible study about sexual temptation, but I was really just an addict waiting for a relapse. Every reason I had been using to fight for purity had been false - me, wife, relationship, kids, pride, etc. The only reason that counts is the the Glory and Grace of my Lord Jesus Christ. He has delivered me from more than just sexual addiction, and he is continually offering deliverance from all sin in my life. My wife and I now have the happiest marriage relationship we've ever had, two young boys to raise in purity and grace, and a ministry that continues to grow and mature.