Way of Purity Testimony: Brad

Brad
I was a slave to pornography for almost 40 years. Countless times I tried, on my own power, to overcome the temptation to view pornography only to return again and again. Over a year ago I was guided to the Setting Captives Free web site while at a church conference. Because of the fear of my ‘secret’ sin being discovered and brought out into the light, I could not get myself to enroll in the lessons and as a result, continued to lose the battle against pornography. A year pasted and I again found myself at the church conference. I was still captive to my lusts and too embarrassed to even talk to the guys in the booth that I met the year before. I returned home with new resolve to get the victory over pornography and gratifying the lusts of my flesh. I failed miserably. Finally, after a month of failure, I was disgusted with myself, my history of losing the battle and my hypocrisy so I enrolled in Setting Captives Free, Way of Purity. To be honest, I was skeptical given my track record. Despite that skepticism, I am free. That’s F-R-E-E, free! For 5 months and counting I have walked in the light and not on my own strength, (which is severely lacking), but on God’s strength.
What was the difference? Setting Captives Free brought forth two key scriptural principles that I had not used in my fight against pornography. They are: proper motivation and accountability. In the past I was motivated by the desire to be a better person or perhaps to declare I had the victory in this area of my life. Not bad motivation, but not successful motivation either. From the start Setting Captives Free biblically stressed that glorifying God had to be the ultimate reason behind being set free. Make no mistake, God set me free, as I stood on His strength; and He gave the victory and receives the glory. The principle of accountability was also key. In the past I was too embarrassed and ashamed to admit I had this sin in my life and tried to deal with it on my own, while hiding it in the dark. In a word, pride. Sin must be brought into the light in order to be dealt with and confessing that sin, not only to God, but to someone that will hold you accountable and ask you the tough question of: “How are you doing? How are you really doing?” makes a huge difference. Just knowing that my two accountability partners; my mentor at Setting Captives Free, Joe; and most importantly my wife, were behind me, encouraging me, supporting me and most importantly, praying for me made all the difference.
As I continue to walk in the light and the grace of Jesus Christ one of the coolest results is the peace and calm that I have. I’ve had that sense of calm since the start of Way of Purity and at first it was kind of weird. I thought maybe I was letting my guard down or over simplifying what I was learning. In the past I would sometimes feel frantic in trying to battle the temptation to view pornography or gratify my flesh. But the battle belongs to the Lord and the calm I feel is His warm embrace as I trust in Him. Am I still tempted? Yes, but the desire is not as strong and if it is strong I’ve taken away many of the opportunities I had in the past to view pornography; “radical amputation”. As a result of these lessons through the scriptures I am more aware of when I am weakest and most vulnerable to the attacks of the devil. On the occasions that temptation, desire and opportunity to sin come together I’ve learned, like Joseph, to flee. I run from the room, I run from the opportunity, and I run into the arms of the One who bought me at such a great price. I thank God for setting me free and for bringing me out of the darkness and into His glorious light.