Way of Purity Testimony: Sharai

My wonderful mentor through this course has been Cathy. For over five years, I have been stuck in the deception of pornography and self-gratification. It started when I was very young and, for a couple of years, I did not even realize the severity of my actions. However, I devoted the last two years trying to quit this filthy habit, but nothing ever stuck. As the months went by, the things I viewed became more immoral and vile in order to appease my flesh, which was quickly getting bored with the material. Though I convinced myself I didn't care that I was continually sinning, the guilt and shame was still there. I felt like a wretched beast, and my relationships with the people I loved made a turn for the worst. Sin made me a nasty person, and I treated those around me terribly. Suicide, death, hatred, sin, abuse and alcohol were always on my mind. I was proud and focused on fulfilling my own desires, since I believed I could do a better job than God, himself. I was very wrong. Despite all the wrong turns I had made and the miserable state I had gotten myself into, God did not forsake me even when I thought I deserved it. I had previously done another course on Setting Captives Free, but I had only taken that course because it was shorter. I continued on in my habitual sin throughout that entire course of 30 lessons (which, in fact, took 2 months to complete because I experienced one of the worst times of my life). It wasn't until I gave up my pride and opened up my heart that God began to work through me. It was a terribly painful process, since the change had to happen in the heart. And, in order for that change to happen, God had to break my heart. I was determined to start The Way of Purity course with a new mindset and a new heart. After letting go of my life, God was ready to release me from the bondage of sin. I have been able to quit these addictions for periods of time before, but this time it has meant something more for me. Instead of just blocking out pornography, I have been determined to drink from the Living Water and live in Jesus, by the Spirit. This was and is key to my victory. Never before have I felt so empowered and accomplished because I know, with God's help, I can and will overcome these tyrants of sexual sin?pornography and self-gratification. I am no longer their slave, because I have been set free by the Truth, who has been by my side since the very beginning. God loves me, and my prime reason for pursuing purity is to show him the glory and honor that such a wonderful and all-powerful God is due. I thank Him above all else because He is the reason for my victory.