Way of Purity Testimony: Ben Meredith

I was born with an intense desire and drive for pleasure, and I am talking true pleasure. I can remember at a very young age wanting to have things my way, and being frustrated when the joy fizzled in my possessions. This spark was truly ignited by the lighter fluid of pornography.

I was introduced to it at a very young age, and it became the type of thing that I sought for pleasure. I saw nothing wrong with it, even after I committed my life to God in the seventh grade. I was just being a normal kid, in my eyes. Gradually, I started to notice and be frustrated by the same phenomenon, that is, the joy was fizzling out after every time. I would look at pornography, practice self-gratification, and instead of feeling fulfilled, I would feel empty. So I began to look even deeper into it.

The advent of the Internet was a big step in this, and I got very deep into sexual chatting, as well as hardcore pornography. I was still unhappy. That year God started to show me that if I am really serious about my relationship with Him, this stuff has got to go. I went on a Campus Crusade for Christ summer project this past summer, and I was almost completely free from pornography and self-gratification for three months, due to a large amount of accountability, and complete lack of access to pornography. It was awesome, and I grew immensely. I thought that I had built up enough to resist it forever. But the very day that project ended, I was back into slavery. I fell harder than ever.

That's when God brought me to Setting Captives Free and to The Way of Purity course. It is through this site that I recognized those things that helped me this past summer, the radical accountability, the radical amputation, and the radical appropriation. I realized that in order to be free forever, I just had to incorporate those things in my life. It has been immensely freeing. God has allowed me to stumble in each area, as far as amputation, accountability, and appropriation go, and it has given me a healthy respect for his word, and for his strength. I look forward to many years of basking in the light of His glory!