I was websurfing one day and God led me to a link for Setting Captives Free and the Lord's Table program. I read the information and God pricked my heart that it was just what I needed. I needed to hear again about the depravity in my heart and that I didn't have to be in bondage to this sin forever. I needed to know someone had been through this struggle before me and had been victorious. I needed for someone to read my daily lessons and comment on them and pray for me. I needed to see that God was offering me a way of escape.
I can't imagine anyone doing this program that is lazier than I am or loved food anymore than I do. But God in all His mercy and grace, allowed me to exercise and fast and eat half portions and feast on Him daily. Maybe it is because I have so much extra weight but I never had any physical problems from fasting. In fact, I work 12 hour night shifts on my feet in a hospital, and I never felt dizzy or weak. But even a bigger miracle than that has been the exercise. At first, it was so hard that I would almost cry the whole thirty minutes. But not so much hard physically as it was mentally. Thirty years of hanging out on my couch and my biggest physical challenge being trying to roll from one side to the other, was hard to get past. And now everyday when I exercise, my heart wants to sing because I know it is our Holy God at work in me.
I want to write my testimony again when I lose 200 pounds. I want to be a poster child for The Lord's Table. Thank you for your ministry and you will hear from me again. My wonderful mentor is Lynda Braun and you may use my testimony and I look forward to sending you pictures, as well.
Rena Barker
Beginning weight: 345
Current weight: 314
After I submitted my testimony last month, Mike Cleveland asked me if I would be willing to submit a testimony and picture every three months, as I continue this journey. After a lot of prayer, a conversation with my husband and with much fear and trembling, I agreed. That fear is causing me sweaty hands right now and a blank mind as I stare at this computer screen wondering what God would have me share with you. But He is greater than that fear and since I really believe what is happening in my life is from Him, I want to keep typing.
As far as weight loss goes, I have been at this point before. In the past, I have been successful for a little while and even lost as much weight as I have this time, only to gain it back. That is my history. That is all I am capable of doing.by myself. The thing that is so different this time is that my losing weight is just a by-product of an increased yielding to Jesus in my heart and with my life. This yielding is not something I have mustered up and has really nothing to do with me. It is just by His grace and love that I have continued to seek Him.
Shortly after I completed the Lord's Table 60-day program on the Internet, I had a two-week vacation that included a trip to Florida with grandchildren. I ordered the TLT book so I could have something to take with me while away from my computer. I had been wanting to order it anyway because there is so much good information offered each day and I wanted something to underline and write in, as well. When I got back, I enrolled in the mentor program for TLT and have just finished my tenth day in that 120-day program. I try to do the mentor lesson before I go
to work and review a TLT lesson after work. I usually get my exercise done before work but sometimes it is the last thing of the day. I use my walking time as Mike has suggested, by devoting it to focusing on God and when my pedometer comes in, I am going to join the "Walk in Him" program. These are the tangible things that are part of my life, that weren't there before and for me they are pretty radical, but not near as radical as the change that God is producing in my heart.
I remember what captivity felt like and I don't feel captive anymore. I remember starting a diet on Monday morning and binging and hating myself by Monday night. I remember thinking if I just had one more bite or a different thing to eat, then I would be satisfied. It wasn't that long ago, that I would fall asleep crying because I hated myself and my lack of self-control. I remember reading people's weight loss stories and thinking God must not love me as much as He loved them. I remember how it feels to have no hope, and now I am having a more intimate relationship with Hope, in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Well, for someone who didn't know what to say at the beginning of this email, I sure have written a lot. I will save some for three months from now.
Beginning Weight: 345
Current Weight: 305
Weight loss this quarter: 40
