Article on mentoring By Shon Bruellman

Dear Prospective Mentor,

The article you are about to read was written by Former Setting Captives Free Executive Director Shon Bruellman to a group of other mentors. Please read it in it’s entirety as it helps to understand how the ministry of Setting Captives Free operates:

Dear mentors,

We sure run into all sorts of situations as mentors, don't we? As a ministry we get students from all walks of life, and a number of them are involved in secular counseling or are going to a 12 Step Support group. You will have students who refuse to confess their sins to their spouse. There will be those who will not break off an adulterous relationship or a number of other things that continue to drag them into sin.

So what do we do in these situations? The message of the world and even nominal Christianity is that we show them love by not finding fault with them or judging them but instead that we would 'win them to the Lord' by supporting them, affirming them and assuring them that God loves them and has a wonderful plan for their life. But is that REALLY the biblical way of responding to those in habitual sin? I would present to you that it is not.

Here it is from The Message:

There is pressure on you mentors to accept and support your students who are going to local 12 Step Support groups but this is not a 'gray area' that we can look the other way on. The 12 Step movement teaches that there are many gods which we can pick and choose from.

This following quote is from 'TOOLS OF RECOVERY: A Practical Guide For New Members of S.A.A.'. The manual has the approval of Sex Addicts Anonymous Literature Committee and has been edited and accepted by them.

Defining The God of Our Understanding: Some find the act of prayer can become more powerful if we take the time to define who God is for us. For those who have not found a home in organized religion, this tool can be especially important. If we are to turn our lives and will over to the care of something, it may be helpful to clarify what that something is.

Without dipping my ladle into the vat of sarcasm too deeply I would simply say that I agree wholeheartedly! I was excited to read this statement in the SA Manual because surely now we were going to hear about Christ, right? That we were going to hear that His Blood alone can set us free and that both the churched and unchurched were going to hear an evangelistic message? Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was shortlived because the paragraph went on to say this:(emphasis added)

In SAA, God is defined simply as a Power greater than ourselves. We are free to choose whether we find that power in a traditional form, or, for example, in the presence of a sober fellowship or in the magnitude of nature. Try not to be discouraged. It usually takes time to develop an experience of our Higher Power. We have found that even a willingness to believe is a powerful beginning that puts us well on our way. The precise concept of who God is for you is less important that the decision to work toward that relationship. Open mindedness is the key here. If you are having difficulty with this idea we suggest speaking to others at meetings who are staying sober and seem to have a positive relationship with their Higher Power.

Wow, does that send chills up and down your back or what? Please remember that the Bible says that we are to 'come out and be a separate people' from those that would mock God and deny Christ; not embrace them or approve of them. It's one thing to attend 12 Step meeting in order to evangelize and reach those involved but it's a horse of a different breed entirely when we go there in order to 'support our sobriety'.

Paul was and is writing to the Church and pointing people to it when he says:

Mentors, calling those involved in 12 step groups out of them is not an option; it MUST take place and it must happen as soon as we are made aware of their involvement. We don't demand immediate compliance but we are to continually encourage, train and point the students away from them and toward Christ and His Church, which is the biblical 'support group' that we are to be turning to. This will take dilligence and a spirit of tenacity on your part because the student is often going to want to just let the whole thing be forgotten, but we have to stay after them about severing those things that draw hearts into sin or deception.

There may be some who think we are rushing ahead too quickly or that we could actually drive people away by our 'judgemental stance' against something that is widely accepted and approved of by many but the truth is that we ought to be more concerned that we do not charge quickly enough at times to attack that which is destroying the lives of countless souls. At times we fear drawing the ridicule, admonition or wrath of our students or others but the Bible shows us that God strengthens and blesses those who charge quickly forward into the battle even if it causes 'ripples'.

Do you realize how different Peter's response was to the powers that be than one of worry and fear? It took much grace ( The Bible says he was'filled with the Holy Spirit') but he charged quickly and stuck a trembling finger in the faces of those who had the power to throw him in prison or kill him and said 'You killed the Saviour by whose power this man is healed!' I remind you that because of Peter's exaltation of Jesus and willingness to proclaim His power that 5,000 believed in Him (verse 4) because Peter was not fearful of what people thought but instead charged quickly right into the heart of enemy territory with the power to heal and the Name of Jesus.

Here we see someone was seeking to turn the heart of the proconsul away from Christ and Paul stepped in and said 'STOP!' He cared not for how he looked or if people thought he was weird. Notice that once again here was someone who was 'filled with the Holy Spirit' (verse 9). He did not wait until after Elymas was finished speaking and come to the man afterwards and say 'Brother, I have some concerns about your theology and would like to start a Bible study group with you. Do Wednesday nights work for you?' No, he took ACTION and it got the attention of those around who saw his vehement response.

Let me tell ya, strong warnings get the attention of people. Just today I was informed that there was some inappropriate communications between a married man and a single student on one of the public forums. I could have written the man and said: 'Dear Sir, how are things going in your life? Are you enjoying your time in the lessons? I was made aware that you were tempted by another individual on a forum and I am sure sorry to hear that. We take full responsibility since it was our fault that you were tempted since we developed the forum in the first place and ask your forgiveness.'

Instead I simply said:

Dear ****,
> > > I have been made aware that you have made some
> > > inappropriately flirtatious comments on an SCF forum
> > > to someone named *****. If you want to destroy your
> > > own marriage that is your prerogative I suppose; but
> > > don't take an innocent soul down with you.

> > > Sincerely,
> > > Shon Bruellman
> > > Executive Director

Let me tell ya... I got his attention :) He went home, talked to his wife, confessed his sin and prayed with her and wrote this in our final exchange today:

Dear Shon,

I thank you for your most recent email. I genuinely see your care and your tone was very much what I needed. I will continue on with the course and with God's grace, continue to flee temptation and overcome evil.

I send this in not to say 'look at me and what I can do!' but to say 'look at what boldly warning the lukewarm can do!' Also notice that I didn't use a lot of words to get the message across, which is unlike what I am doing here. (sorry!)

Setting Captives Free has been successful and has been blessed of the Lord because of our stand on TRUTH. One thing Truth does is confront sin and not just overlook it. Mike's example of Phinehas yesterday is a perfect example of someone who was zealous for righteousness and the ways of God and did not just look at that situation and say 'Well, we just need to be patient and understanding because sooner or later he'll wise up to his evil ways and stop having sex in public'

In a way...we say this same thing when we allow our students to continue forward in the lessons even though they continue to refuse to heed the counsel they are receiving from the lessons and from you, and hence they fall over and over again.

Brothers and sisters, if you care for your students soul you need to be going on your knees to the habitually falling or those who are trusting in their 12 step group, church or psychiatrist to free them and plead with them to turn to the Lord, the Word and His children for counsel and support. If after two weeks your advice continues to be rejected then we need to be severing ties with those who do not listen.

If a student continues to fall and is staunchly refusing to sever ties with his 12 step group or his psychiatrist then we need to say goodbye to them because their ears are blocked and they are living in deception. If they will not confess their sins to their spouses past day 25 (the last lesson that speaks about confession) then we tell them goodbye. If a student is living with his girlfriend and continuing to periodically have sex with them then we tell them to stop submitting lessons until they repent of their sins and begin obeying the Bible and amputate access to that which leads them into sin.

In any of these situations if they refuse to listen but continue to send in lessons then you send one final warning and then block their address so you can no longer receive emails from them. If they want to they'll be able to get ahold of info@settingcaptivesfree.com and I can then forward info to the mentor.

Mentors, please hear my heart here: You are representives and counselors for Setting Captives Free and as such your convictions in how to mentor and what steps to follow with regards to disciplining falling students need to echo the ministry's or else you are mentoring under false pretentions and are not submitting to those in authority over you at SCF nor following their leadership. This admonition is not only for new mentors, but also for those who have been around for years and maybe have grown lax in their pursuit of those students who just refuse to listen. Shucks, I need this message because it is sooo much easier to say to a falling student 'I am praying for you....' rather than going to the effort of sending out a rebuke and a warning. Brothers and sisters, we MUST not shirk our responsibility of warning the falling and then separate from them if they do not hear us.

If you cannot support these standards or would have biblical evidence of where we would be in error on these issues please contact me at scfshon@ncn.net and let me know your thoughts. I will be sure to pass on your thoughts to the others in leadership. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Shon Bruellman
Executive Director

Passages