How Far Sin Can Take Us

At Day 60 of The Way of Purity, a newly freed captive named, Rob, said, "I have found that my sin of pornography and gratification had affected other areas of my life such as my trustworthiness, truthfulness, and had eroded them away. Could that be talked about in your newsletter?"

Oh man! That makes me weep, Rob. Yes, I understand the depths that such sin can take us to. It changes us into something gross. I nearly went to prison as one of the consequences of my own years and years of being in that mess. Even after years of freedom, the waves caused by my sin still often wash dangerously close to my family. Can you imagine what that did to my beloved wife? We can slide down that slippery slope without even knowing it until we hit bottom.

Not only have men lost their jobs over this, but also their wives, and families. Quite a few had their physical freedom taken away from them before, during and after taking The Way of Purity. The world demands its due. And yes, the lies, the deceit, the cover-ups, the doing things in the dark.... All of it changes us into something we'd not even recognize.

Here are some excerpts; examples from real life - real people:

Somewhere along the line I got involved with internet porn and this was a devastating thing for me. I got hooked on it and ended up sneaking around trying to find every opportunity to look at it. I didn't allow anyone to know that I was looking at this filth but something happened that caused me to wonder if my fascination was causing problems in my grandchildren.

I was meticulous in covering my tracks but always fearful that someone knew or would find out. I worried that my housemate would walk in one time or someone would find a way to undelete my history or something. I was really paranoid.

I had a long history of sexual sin. Me and my wife were in a bad spot in our relationship. Our marriage and my life was not God centered. It was centered on me. My wife happen to give me a blog quote of women that were hurt by sexual sin. My wife had just left me due to my sin.

Even though I became a pastor and a leader I had this "thing" that was eating at my soul!

I remained in bondage through adolescents into marriage where my sexual sins escalated. I erratically visited massage parlors. I was completely hopeless of a life without being totally entrapped by sexual sin. I tried many different times and ways to stop my behavior with no avail. My marriage, personal and professional relationships suffered as I continued to push more and more people out of my life. The guilt and shame of my sins was overwhelming. I had regular thoughts of suicide because I didn't think that my wife and family deserved the social backlash of me getting caught, confessing, or consequences of my choices.

I would drink constantly and party because it was a way to meet more woman. Every girlfriend I ever had I cheated on because I would get tired of what was happening and I needed more.

At times i'll be scared to go to a certain location, town, resturant because it is close to where I've committed sexual immorality. I'll be so paranoid that it ruins what could have been a nice trip. I've noticed my ecapism in the form of not feeling worthy or able to go to church. I know what i've done is wrong, and I know i've done it repeatedly, so it feels that going to church and taking part is not right. So I start looking for ways out of going.

I made promises to my wife that I would never be involved in pornography and self-gratification again. That resolve lasted for over a year. With each promise made and broken, the time between became shorter.

Sadly, despite forsaking relationships founded on the wrong things (not Christ), my thought that God would show grace every time I sinned (pornography had taken the internet by storm) was never quite eradicated, so I just kept stumbling through life, in habitual sin, a dumb, ultimately selfish young man, who was going to be okay, finding myself more alone than ever, further from friends, loved ones, even strangers.

In spite of knowing that I had a problem with sexual sin, I got married to the love of my life. She found out about my sin and I promised to stop. The cycle of me striving to quit sinning and her finding out that I hadn't went on for over 20 years. The advent of the internet made my personal attempts to quit using pornography fruitless. I was soon watching porn videos on-line whenever I had the chance. This also led to sexual chat rooms and more sinning. Finally, early this year, I knew I had had enough. My wife wasn't aware that I was continuing to sin in this way. She thought everything was fine. I was feeling myself dying inside and knew that she would also die if she knew what I was doing. With God at my side, I finally confessed my sin to her. I've never done anything more difficult in my whole life.

I have an outgoing personality but I drew away from people alot. I remember teaching at a missionary school overseas and someone described as, "That's just Ron he likes to march to his own beat." I was probably escaping and didn't know why.

My pastor's wife was on my computer and she saw what I had been searching for, and then my pastor confronted me about it.

Rob, there are thousands of stories in our archives demonstrating in a glaring way how our love of lust can change our behavior and rip apart relationships and lives, turning us into, well....

Imagine a picture of you or me, when we were 25 years old. And then substitute the image of a very large slug.

But there is another, better picture. A picture of hope:

Now imagine Jesus, bleeding on The Cross for us, for what we'd done and for this:

Freedom -

Jesus quoted this prophesy about Himself:

On the cross - when He died that horrible death, He set us free! Free from sin! He took them away! He is waiting for each of us to claim that! And many of us already have received that wonderful gift of freedom from our sins.

Freed, resurrected, restored!

Rob, not only am I not in chains of sin anymore, but I'm not in prison. My wife trusts me more than she does any other person on earth. My mind is more like the mind of Christ...being renewed daily through His word and prayer. Oh! What a Savior!

No more lies. No more deceit. No more. A new creation!

And, Rob, that same transformation is happening to you and to so many others, as I am sitting at my desk, writing this.

Thank you, Lord.
Neill Morris - servant of Christ

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