A United Front
Letters from Spouses
Teamwork
Yes, I will admit that it looks bad--ten different women who are accusing and one man who is denying it; however, unless you have hard evidence (chat logs of him talking to these women) then you really have to take his word over theirs because he is your husband and primary relationship.
Have you guys considered getting rid of (radically amputating) all chat programs on your computer? Mike and I did this with our computers and it helped a lot. It showed that he had a desire to build up trust in our relationship no matter the cost or inconvenience and that he was really serious about freedom. I was willing to give up the chat programs (which I used to talk with my sister) in order to help him to be free. Teamwork is a great thing.
No matter what you and Jay decide there is a need for high accountability in your marriage; and so you and Jay need to be looking for ways to accomplish this in your relationship. The trust needs to be built up again. On your end, you can encourage Jay by letting him know that you believe in him and that you desire for him to succeed in his pursuit of purity. If Jay is resistant to accountability then my husband or Jay's mentor can address the issue with him. Let me know.
grace to you,
Jody
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