A United Front
Letters from Spouses
Pleasure in Marriage
Dear Jen,
Thank you for answering my questions. My heart goes out to you as you work through this as I remember how hard it was for me at first. Sin is always heart breaking no matter whose it is......mine, yours, etc. I am praying for you.
I think that you have hit on something in your answer to the question about what comes to mind when you think of sex. And what I want you to consider is that your answer is a mixture of truth and falsehood. For example: Truth: You were created for Len's pleasure (and He for yours). False: you are not JUST for that purpose. Sexual abuse teaches us that we are only objects to be used; this is a lie of the Evil One. We must put off the lie and put on the truth of Scripture which is that God designed sex to be pleasurable in the marriage bed.
Jen, you will remember that God created woman for the man (1 Cor 11:9). God did this for many reasons, and one reason was clearly sexual. There is nothing wrong and everything right about bringing pleasure to your own husband in and out of the bedroom. Dressing for your husband is not wrong (and I don't mean just sexual clothing here although that is part of it). It must be difficult for you to remember the times when Len involved you with porn and dressed you as a hooker; but that was in the past. You must now press onward and create new memories of purity and beauty with Len to replace the old evil ones.
Try to think of things that Len can do for you to bring you pleasure sexually. This might be hard to imagine at first but if you seek the Lord, read Song of Solomon, and pray about it then I believe God will reveal Himself to you in your sexuality. Now, I don't want you to panic; you don't have to do it all in one night but you do need to begin. If you need help with ideas of things that your husband can do for you then let me know.
As far as the weight gain is concerned, it is time to refocus. Today, stop where you are and assess your situation. Begin to eat healthy and exercise and do not go to food for comfort or protection but to your Heavenly Father Who is able to protect and satisfy our souls. Amen.
I am praying heart peace and soul strength for you today.
grace and love to you, my dear sister,
Jody
Hebrews 12: 1-2 ; 1 Peter 3: 4-6.
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