A United Front
Letters from Spouses
Advice To a Mother--II
Dear Susan,
I understand and share the desires you have for your son; I will certainly be praying for him to this end. It's interesting to me because I was just talking with Mike about our sons the other day and many of the desires that you spoke to are ones I expressed to him for our boys. A mother's heart, huh? I certainly don't think our desires are wrong, but I do think that we may both have to wait to see them come to fruition (me longer than you).
In the mean time consider this way of looking at things: Jim is like that guy who went down the wrong road and was beaten by the robbers and left for dead and then the good Samaritan came along poured on the oil and the wine and carried him to the hotel so that he might fully recuperate from his beatings and eventually return to his family. Jim was beaten to a pulp by sin, Susan; he was wounded beyond recognition--he was no longer the man he was before he became involved with the stuff--so now he really is in somewhat of a "recovery" stage (though viewing pornography and masturbating is not an "illness" but rather a sin).
Yes, Jim chose to sin and he is responsible; however, we must never forget that we each have a sin which easily beset us and we are called to put them off (Hebrews 12, "let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us..." ). Jim is in the process of putting off the sin that beset him for so long. And as he walks the road to purity by God's grace his path will get brighter by the day (Proverbs 4:18) and you will see him begin to change. It won't always be about him.
When my husband was involved with the life dominating sin of porn/sexual impurity, he was practically blind to the needs of his wife and children. He lived for himself....that's what sin does. Sin turns a person inward. And even after Mike began his walk in purity things changed slowly, but now......wow, he is awesome! He sees me and really cares about me. He is tender and open and kind and gentle and a servant to others. God has transformed both of our lives and for this I am grateful. There is hope.
If you feel that Jim's female friend would be open to hearing from you then make contact with her and share with her from your heart. You might even forward these emails to her so she can get a better understanding of what's going on with Jim. She probably has pulled back because she doesn't understand and is afraid that Jim will always be enslaved to porn, but this does not have to be so. By God's grace and power Jim can become free and whoever the Son sets free is FREE INDEED! I'm glad that Jim told this young lady about his sin struggle and that he asked her forgiveness. Do you think he should do something or that he could do something more? Maybe it is something that Mike could help him with. Something to think about.
I will continue to remember you in prayer. May God be gracious to you and reveal Himself to you as Jehovah Rapha--the God Who heals.
grace and love to you,
Jody
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