A United Front
Letters from Spouses
Advice To a Mother--III
Dear Susan,
Please don't feel like you are "dumping" on me. I don't feel that way at all; and I want to help if I can. I do understand what you are saying--Porn/sexual impurity is a disgusting evil. On the other hand, your precious son is a man who has flesh that is weak. Try to keep the two separate. Jim was deceived (as we have all been at one time or another) and he got into something that he thought he could control, but instead it ended up controlling him.
In dealing with troublesome thoughts, I have found it is helpful to remember that we must always take every thought captive to Christ and make it obedient to Him. When the thoughts of disgust and disdain come then take them to Christ and ask Him to give you humility and grace in your soul so that you might respond to your prodigal son as the Father in the Scriptures did--with open arms, forgiveness, love, and a heart of celebration for the freedom that the son is now experiencing.
You mentioned that Jim has sinned against others who are suffering in silence. Who are these people? Perhaps Mike can address this issue with Jim as needed. Jim does need to ask for the forgiveness of anyone that he has sinned against and he needs to seek restoration to the degree possible.
Do you feel that we are encouraging Jim in a victim mentality? We do not believe this way so we need to clarify this with Jim if he has somehow gotten the impression that we see him as a victim and therefore not responsible for his sins. We would not agree with this mindset at all.
Susan, I can only imagine how grieved you must be for the sins that your son has committed; but let me encourage you to look forward and be hopeful. God is able to keep Jim from sin and it would seem that He is doing this work. Jim appears to have a repentant heart as evidenced by his pursuit of the Word and his willingness to forsake his sin. We continue to pray for you both.
grace and love to you,
Jody
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